Roads Untraveled

In order to accurately reflect my new outlook and new NSNG lifestyle the blog now has a new name. It represents my path on the roads yet untraveled. Of course there will be race reports and other such triathlon information, but there will also be a discussion of physiology of obesity, bariatric surgery, and of course the low carbohydrate and high fat lifestyle (or No Sugar No Grains for all of us Vinnie's Ladies and Gents).

I want to share the trials, frustrations, milestones, and hopefully success that I will be experiencing through this change in lifestyle. Also, I want to make it a place to find the evidence behind the hype of physiology. One day I hope to trace a link between obesity, hyperinsulinemia and cancer and this will be my journey.

And here is the beginning of that process...

So I guess I should start with my story...

My journey began as an overweight child, teen and eventually young adult. My highest weight was 260 pounds for a 5'5" frame. I was in constant pain from a knee and ankle injury from an SUV rollover in 1998 where I nearly lost my life and left leg. I was suffering from the early stages of metabolic syndrome in my 20s, a disease that would eventually lead to high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes. I knew this was a dangerous path as combined with my strong family history for coronary artery disease and atherosclerosis, I working my way to a heart attack.

In 2005, I decided with the help of my mother to undergo RNY gastric bypass surgery. I was in the middle of an intensive Internal Medicine residency, working over 100 hours per week (yeah, I guess those work-hour restrictions for doctors were working so well, heh), and feeling miserable. During a 2-week leave I went under and woke up with a new way of life. You not only have to re-learn how to eat having had your GI tract re-routed; but also new mechanisms for coping. I did not realize at that time that no matter how much of your stomach is cut out, learning not too use food as a coping mechanism for stress is the key to long-term weight management.

Strong Like Bull!

So the first year was amazing and the next two a dream. I dropped from a size 18-20 down to a size 6 and 155 pounds by summer of 2006 when I started my Hematology and Medical Oncology Fellowship. I was exercising here and there and fairly sticking to my new diet. I was in a new town/state, new position, new home and all seemed wonderful. Little did I realize there would be new stress as well. Yet again, I turned to food, my constant companion, the one thing in my life that would never leave, never say no. And the weight crept back. Time constraints whittled away at what little exercise I had been doing. Perhaps, the worst part of all was my twisted reasoning for stopping my post-op supplements...well, if I am gaining weight that must been that I am not nutritionally deficient! 

In 2010, less than year into my new career as an academic physician at a major cancer center, new home. Some would say the life but miserable yet again, my weight back to 200 pounds and a size 16. I was always tired, sick to my stomach, and a sadness that pervaded every inch of my heart. I dove into my work, but was having difficulty keeping up with that with the overwhelming feelings of fatigue.  That is when one of my coworkers (soon to be more than that), JC steered me to see weight loss specialist. After balking many times (well, what would another doctor tell me that I already couldn't figure out for myself!) and feeling that my biggest problem was laziness not medically related, I bit the bullet and made the appointment. After one visit and multiple vials of blood later we realized the problem. I had EVERY profound nutritional deficiency a gastric bypass patient could endure. My vitamin D and B12 levels were nonexistent, thyroid was low, and ironically (for a hematologist) I had a severe iron deficiency anemia for which I needed IV iron replacement.

MB RNR Half Marathon 2011

At the same time, I developed a passion for cycling inspired by my nurse and good friend. I threw myself into the sport and eventually triathlon, into my supplements and with the guidance of my knowledgeable physician, good friends, and that special person who started me on the path to getting healthy again I hope I found a way to cope with the constant stressors in life.

Although it helped, I still had not found the magic pill to keep me healthy. Through the next two years I would finish a sprint triathlon, then an Olympic distance, and finally 3- 70.3 races. Although I have been training hard; the weight was still there. I did drop down to 160 by fall of 2011 with the help of some intense marathon training, but then the stress ramped up again. In fact, I felt like I was losing my path in my life and in my work. My friends were all leaving or being forced to leave from my hospital. Stress levels rose again and I lost my passion for my job. I no longer felt like a doctor, just a bureaucratic pencil pusher and a poor one at that. The weight came back and my training suffered. I was in pain daily due to gastric ulcers and dumping syndrome. All of my nutritional deficiencies had reared their ugly head.

Thanks to KC, my friend, coach and overall triathlon goddess who one day told us about Vinnie Tortorich and his podcast about the NSNG lifestyle. After listening once, I was hooked. JC and I were on our way to a much healthier lifestyle. Although I have not lost the weight he has I can attest to feeling 100% better. I rarely experience dumping syndrome, ulcers are under control, energy levels are up.

The stress is still there, in fact even more so with my new job away from my dear friends and partner; but there are new friends, new practice and every morning I wake up with a renewed passion for my patients. It is amazing what a positive work environment does for you. I am slowly learning how to manage a busy practice, call schedule, and half iron man training. My new friends and family are finally accepting that the NSNG lifestyle is here to stay. And I am getting to the point where I am saying NO to the sugary snacks when stressed more than YES.

JC and I ... Tri and then TRI again!

As if the living the dream weren't enough, I get to incorporate my scientific background into my new lifestyle. I want to delve deep into the physiology of bariatric surgery and how to make it work. I also want to help flesh out the associations between cancer and obesity...there is a lot of information out there just waiting to be discovered....

An old voice in my head...

There is an old voice in my head, holding me back,
Well tell her I will miss our little talks.

Recently there have been many changes in my life: a change in career settings and location. There were many benefits to the move, but several drawbacks as well. In my previous environment I was so very overwhelmed that this change has been refreshing and everything that I had imagined my chosen path would take me. I wake up in the morning with a renewed passion for being a caregiver, in all aspects of the word. This is all in part to my partners, my staff, and most of all my patients and they know they have my thanks.

But, (yes, you knew that was coming of course), as I settle into my new lifestyle I am finding it hard to find my routine. To find the balance between training, work (which is really just another aspect of life now instead of "work"), and home. It doesn't help to still have an office full of boxes (albeit the pain cave is fully functional...you see where my priorities lie, LOL) and injured family. I also recently found out that I did not succeed at something very important in my life, and I feel like I have let my family, my friends, my colleagues and my patients down. This has dreadfully impacted my training and in turn my health.

These are not excuses, in fact they are truths I need to own up to:
- I have been neglecting my health (missing supplements/thyroid/arthritis meds for days-weeks.
- I have been lax in my training.
- I have been off my gastric bypass lifestyle.
- I have been receding into a poor routine.

I think it hit me this last weekend on our long run of 18 miles. As we completed the Flatwoods BBD loop rounding mile 9, I thought to myself, "Why don't we just do 11 and call it for the day?" It did not phase me that the thought had entered my mind. I am ashamed to say I did not dismiss it either. After cooling off a bit and stretching I decided to push forward at least to 13.1, maybe 15...but likely not the whole 18 prescribed.

The run gods thought otherwise, as I rounded the corner to the mile 4 water stop (really mile 13 for me), , Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men started playing. The catchy tune got my legs moving again and I settled into a comfortable run paying attention to the lyrics instead of the pain in my knee and feet. Then I heard it...

There is an old voice in my head, holding me back....

And I realized, that was what has been holding me back...not the move, not pressures of my field, not the loneliness of being apart from my love and supportive friends...it was me. That old voice from 3 years ago when I was 200 pounds, unhealthy and unhappy. It has been more comfortable during these times of stress to turn back to my old vices, to my old habits. My family, my love, my coach and my friends have all reminded me of that these past 48 hours. So...it is time to not to "listen to the words she says" and I will NOT miss those little talks.

Thank you everyone for being there...you all truly are my inspiration.

Life is a Lemon: Learning How to Make Lemonade in the Savannah River

I have never thought of myself as an overachiever, in fact quite the opposite. Apparently, I am learning that is a truism of most overachievers. So not to disappoint, the Fates threw at me several life stressors (thankfully most of them positive)  within the last 6 weeks: (1) a serious bike crash, (2) leaving friends, staff, and patients at my old hospital, (3) starting a new job, (5) selling and buying a new home, (4) and training for my second 70.3 in Augusta, Georgia. Slowly but surely things are falling into place and I am quite happy at my succesful finish in Augusta... though how I got to the finish line is quite a different story. 

T- minus 3 days 

I had a previous speaking engagement in Fort Walton Beach, Florida on Wednesday so was flying back in on very small plane that morning. A quick drive home to switch bags and change and JC and I were off on the 9 hour drive Georgia. Many lessons were learned about traveling in North Florida and GA:

- Stay on the highways whenever possible (I swear we heard dueling banjos while gassing up)

- There is no such thing as sugar free or non-processed food

- Cotton grows on trees (okay that's for another blog...)

We arrived at our home away from home, Holiday Inn Express in Augusta late but unpacked, a quick bite and off to bed before a busy day of checking in and expo festivities in the morning.

T- minus 2 days

It was so relaxing being able to check-in so early. We ate a quick breakfast at KC's corner (who knew KC was branching out into sports nutrition...) and waited for Packet Pickup and Expo to open. Staff were friendly and very organized. Being inside was a BIG plus in comparison to Haines City where the expo was hot and humid.  After breezing through the packet pickup it was time to shop! Of course, we spent way to too much, but we totally NEEDED everything we bought. We shopped till we dropped, scouted out the swim start and Riverwalk and rounded off the day with a nice meal at the Expo Hotel Restaurant. Such a beautiful and quiet day...lessons learned:

- Always keep JC with you in the Expo or I am capable of spending next month's mortgage payment

- Everyone needs more tri-related tech T's, caps, and visors no matter how many boxes they just finished packing filled with the same exact items

- Remember your support crew

- Try not step in an anthill while walking on the Riverwalk the days before an "A" race (I am not brandishing an anklet of welts from where they encircled my socks)

Why would KC say no bicycles in this area?!

Shop, shop, shop!

Beware the River Zombies....

T- minus 1 day

Butterflies were beginning to surface in my belly. I had and have been having some gut issues related to my prior bypass and gastritis. We woke up early and got out to do some last minute workouts to keep limber. 

- 20 minute swim in hotel pool with wetsuit to get all kinks out - CHECK

- 20 minute run around the parking lot with small hills - CHECK

- 10-15 minute ride to make sure gears/tires were all good on Rue - CHECK

Then off to the transition area to leave Rue. My nerves were definitely rising, but we dropped off our trusty steeds and scouted out the swim out. The Race Swim Director was actually waterside and answered several of our questions and concerns. Goods news, the river would have about a 1.5 mph current pushing us (sadly enough that is more than my normal pace), water temperature was about 76 so likely wetsuit legal, you could just tread water and still make it to the finish before cut offs...my kind of swim!

After a quick lunch we were off scout the bike course. Lots of people were driving and riding (even a few without helmets, can we say read "Blood on the Trail"). The course was daunting to me. Although I grew up in the mountains of northwest NJ, I have only trained in Florida, where the community speed bumps represent my "hill repeats". JC assured me it would be fine and nothing seemed "undo-able" after our metric century ride hitting every major bridge in Pinellas county...TWICE.

Back to the hotel, gear set up, bags packed and off to bed. Sleep? Nah...of course we were both up every hour watching the clock and trying to settle our nerves. 

Lessons learned:

- Arrive early to race venue, it was so beneficial to have time on our hands to get everything done

- No matter how much you have prepared, you will always think you forgot something

Swim finish...so much for not being able to swim the day before!

JC and Gunner Ready to Rock

Saying goodnight to Rue

Race Day!

Up and early we were out. We got to transition about 30 minutes before they opened, but found great parking about 1/4 mile out. We snoozed a bit in car and then made our way to set up. I found Rue, chatted with my fellow rack mates. We had a Beth and Summer sighting which is always fun. 

Morning bags in hand we were in the shuttle back to swim start when it hit me I forgot my inhaler back at transition. I also had forgotten to take a puff which I always do before leaving transition. I quickly moved it out of my mind. Although I have known exercise induced asthma, it has never really bothered me during a swim. So I focused on worrying about the normal pre-race issues...

- Where are the porta-potties?

- What am going to do in the hour after JC starts?

- Am I going to fall of the bike, again?!

We met up with Sherrie who help calm me down. Then it was time to suit up and send Sherrie and JC off. I knew they would both be strong in the race. They both trained hard.

I found Beth, Summer, and Jessica et al a ways down and we all got our game faces on before the big moment...

The SWIM 

I got down to the floating pier and in less than a minute after jumping in the water the air horn went off. I was breathing a bit hard because of treading water to fight the current pushing me past the buoys but didn't think it was going to be a problem. I put my face in the water and it went all downhill from there...

I suddenly wasn't able to breathe out under water. The wetsuit seemed like it was 3 sizes too SMALL all at once. I came up for air and felt like my lungs were overly full and throat too tight to let anything more in. I started to tell myself, calm down. Just breath every stroke, breath out, head up and in, stroke, breath out...but it wasn't working. Every time I put my head in the water it felt like an elephant was on my chest. 

I started side stroking my way and free-styling with my head out of the water while the wheezing grew in my chest. It is amazing what you start to think about. I just kept remembering the increased residual volume which causes the inability to take deep breaths in asthma attacks. I kept thinking, am I going to make it to the next buoy? Wave after wave of swimmers past me. I kept having to signal to the kayakers who asked me if I was okay a thumbs up...no sound would come out of my mouth...I was just struggling to stay afloat. 

Finally after what seemed like hours I got to the ramp. I stood up and walked a few steps before inhaling to deeply and going into a coughing fit, landing all fours face in the water again. Volunteers came to my side helping me stand up again. Medics were called and I was asked to go with them to the med tent. I asked if that meant my race over...and the solemn look on their faces confirmed. So I shook my head, coughed and ambled my way as fast as I could (more like a hobble) to transition. 

I found Rue somehow, grabbed the my inhaler from her airbox and threw myself on the ground taking 2 or 3 puffs as quickly as I could. I just focused on breathing. Finally after again what seemed like hours I was able to peel off my wet suit and get ready to ride.

Lessons learned:

- NEVER forget your inhaler

- You can grab onto a kayak/paddle board for rest

- Do not try to power through a swim in the middle of an asthma attack (i.e. do not try this at home)

The BIKE

I took it slow. My heart rate was up in the 190s at this point and still some residual chest tightness. Thankfully the first 15 miles of the course has little hills so I took some time recover. I kept the inhaler in my hand the majority of the first half, taking occasional puffs when coughing fits arose. Bad part was that my heart rate decided to stay in the 190s-200s throughout the majority of the bike. I stopped at the aid stations and refueled as best as I could. I knew my goals were toast after the hills started. My pace continued to decline and although my legs could handle it..cardio wise I was exhausted.

Lessons learned:

- Race directors, please don't put water stops on inclines

- Learn how to stand up and ride to power up hills for the next race

- Remember basic physiology and that continued use of albuterol for asthma causes tachycardia!

The RUN (or power walk in my case)

My race was shot at this point. I tried to run a bit but couldn't breath deeply enough for the effort. So I decided to power walk it. Amazingly though my legs felt good (must be the tri-bike and the Newtons). I looked at my watch and ran only when the heart rate dropped to low 180s for a few minutes. It was a long 13.1 miles, but eventually after tears, rain, yelling at myself when I was alone on Broad Street in Olde Town with no one either in front or behind to put one foot in front of the other...I caught up to JC who had been slowing down for me. It was wonderful...although I could barely talk and breath...it was a comfort to have him at my side...and we got to finish together. 

Lessons learned:

- The tri-bike did make a difference in the run

- Newtons are definitely a good shoe... no blisters or toenail bruising

- Volunteers/cheer squads who stand in the rain for hours for us final finishers ROCK!

The rest of the story was much more relaxing and helped prepare me for the next hurdle and I eventually recovered completely later that evening. It was trying race, but I am glad I got through it. I definitely earned that medal! 

I so thank my friends, family and training partners...I will not disappoint you next time!

Blood on the Trail

Everyone who has spent some time with me knows my uncle's name is Murphy... as in Murphy's Law, "Anything that can go wrong will." They know that I am the antithesis of grace in anything I do...if there is an accident waiting to happen...it will surely happen to me. And it did. 

On my way to Flatwoods....

The week had been crazy due to work related issues, causing me to miss several training sessions and time with my cohort in crime, JC. I was very much looking forward to our long bike, a 50 miler in at our usual stomping grounds of Flatwoods Park, just miles up the road. I woke up bright and early, got ready, packed up Rue and our gear and headed out. We had to meet at Morris Bridge entrance because of the flooded out trail on the BBD entrance, so it took me a bit longer than usual to get into park. After donning my helmet, shoes and pumping tires, I set off to do a few loops around the parking lot to practice my turns while waiting for JC. The day was starting off wonder, sun in the sky, a long ride with my favorite guy, and lots of promising things in my future.

I met up with Nick, a coworker and fellow cyclist, in the parking lot. We had a short conversation as he was planning to go roller blading. In passing during a conversation about bicycle safety, I had mentioned, "I have never had a serious bike crash, though I fall all the time." I realized seconds later that I had broken the cardinal rule. I had summed the ghost of Uncle Murphy to lay his dreaded curse upon me.

JC and I set off and our ride was superb! The winds were low our speed was high. We sprinted every few miles pushing it up to 22mph for 0.5 mile or so on a few occasions. I got KC'd (see JC's blog) and dropped by random cyclist who issued us a challenge (the good news, JC hung on him till the end of the trail, Strong Work!).  I was even able to take the sharp left hand turn at the BBD trailhead in aero position at 16mph. Whoohoo!

On our 5th lap around the park, I was feeling a bit hot, very thirsty and difficult concentrating. I should have known the early signs of heat exhaustion. I also have a tendency to zone out on the bike. These two things were not a good combination this day. I remember turning a curve and seeing two walkers on the right, side by side. I figured I had enough time to take a sip from my water and still pass them without issue. I dropped my head, grabbed my sip and when I brought my head back up....

I was right on tip of them! I knew instantly if I didn't swerve, I would have plowed right into the walker. So it happened, I unclipped my right foot, reached for the break and leaned left all at the same time....and while in AERO. Definitely not a good thing!

I lost control, hit the ground at 20mph, first with my left hip, then left shoulder, and finally my left temple. I don't know how far I slid, but it must have been several feet based on the road rash. I only remember feeling the burn from my knees to head. Upon stopping, I tried to get up, within an instant I saw JC fishtailing to a stop a few yards in front of me. Then a warm rush of liquid covered my face and my left eye began to sting, I looked down and saw huge drops of bright red blood falling from head. My peripheral vision dimmed and I felt like I was about to pass out so I dropped my arms and laid on the asphalt trying to think of what do to next. 

I am so thankful JC was there. He quickly rallied the walkers and other cyclists who had stopped to move my bike and he carried me to the side of the road in the gravel. He stood by me, helping me apply pressure the large gash on my left forehead while keeping my spirits up. One of the cyclists stopped and called 911 while the walker I had clipped ran to the nearest water stop to get the ranger's number.  Many minutes passed and he stayed by my side. Eventually the ranger came and he helped keep the sun off of me. 

I remember just trying to stay awake. Trying to keep moving my extremities. Trying to focus on the voices (I couldn't see because of blood and sun in my eyes). I felt so bad that I had ruined everyone's ride and walks and hope they all were able to salvage the day!

Driver and EMT

Battle Wounds All Dressed Up

After 42 minutes, EMS and Fire Rescue made it. They promptly got me into the ambulance and we were on our way to Tampa General Hospital. JC rode with Rue and Badger back to the card to meet me in the hospital. The ambulance ride was the begininng of things getting better... my EMT and driver whose names I didn't get (but see them below) were great. He is going into the Marines this fall to defend our freedom to swim, bike, run as we please. So many thanks to them!

At TGH, I met up with JC, got cleaned up, scanned (yes, I still have a brain in the there) and after a few hours met the ENT who stitched me up.  Dr. Ito, one USF's finest residents was on call this week. He was a bit worried that he was taking care of an "Attending" (technically higher on chain of command), but I encouraged him that I was merely a patient and he was the expert here. He had smooth and skilled hands and a great bedside manner. Kudos to him. He is a fine surgeon!

Dr. Ito

Hard At Work Making Me Beautiful!

Finally got discharged and headed home to get cleaned up and an early bedtime. I will say showering has not been fun. Ironically, the road rash hurts the most, with an intense stinging pain when anything touches it...so lots of bacitracin and tegaderm until that skin grows back. 

So in the end the list of injuries...

- 3 cm left temple laceration down to pericranium with several layers of stitches

- loss of temporal nerve branch of facial nerve (basically I cannot raise my left eyebrow)

- road rash on both knees and about 80% of left arm, left flank

- multiple ant bites/spider bites

- mild concussion.

Left arm/shoulder

Left Forearm

Left Knee

Right Knee

Before

After

The New Spock Look

And I got off easy. After speaking with our friends at Kona Multisport and doctors they all say I would have died had I not been wearing a helmet. The impact was so severe it scraped a layer off the outside of helmet and cracked it through and through. It frightens me to think of all the cyclists (including minors) out on the trails that do not wear helmets. If my crash can help, let me say.... WEAR YOUR HELMET AND SAFETY GEAR! 

And what you say of Rue! JC helped make sure she stayed well too. He hosted her for the evening (she says he was very good to her, though he did have to manhandle her to fit her in his car, LOL) and brought her back to me so we could get our Tri-Experts to take a look at her. Very minimal damage, but she is staying over Kona for a few days for a full physical (thanks Dustin, Kurt, and Hunter!). 

Rue at the Dr.

Battered and Bruised

Several lessons learned.....

- Wear your helmet...need I say it again.

- Get a new helmet after a crash (hey another reason to upgrade to something pink and pretty!)

- Listen to your body

- Be aware of your surroundings

- Always have JC at your side!

On the way home from hospital....

Rue's Debut!

Yes, it has been a long time since my last blog. I hope to improve on that this season. I will at least try posting race reports and our crazy journey to Augusta 70.3 where I will be trying to PR on my Haines City 70.3 time of 8:17.

As a bit of reward for the long hours and training to Haines City, I decided to go for a Tri-bike. Hey, if you are serious, we have to have the right gear! Rue is a bad-ass (hence her Honey Badger nickname) 2012 Quintana Roo, CD 0.1 shift series with Shimano Ultegra gears and carbon wheels. She is, in a word, amazing! I have had my eye on her (along with a lot of other women I am told) for several months.

After 1.5 hour bike fit on Wednesday with Dave at Kona Multisport, took her for a test ride in their parking lot. Surprisingly, I took to her easy, clipped in and set off! Getting into aero was a different trick. After a few minutes, I tried to settle into the bars, felt very strange and definitely had a few moments where I thought I would fall, but managed to stop myself from steering with my hands and instead use my elbows/core as Dave had instructed. Still going at a "slowish" pace in the parking lot, I managed aero for the first time! Whoohoo.

We had to wait until Saturday for our right after JC and Badger's fitting, but I was ready to go. We got to the Windy Woods (Flatwoods Park) around 2pm and set off. Despite the intense heat, it was a great ride. I realized  a few things:

• Getting into aero at 10 mph is VERY different at 18 mph!
• Sit forward on an Adamo seat or suffer a "hoo" that doesn't "ha" so much!
• Carbon wheels will SLICE through a headwind, PROPEL you in a tail wind and become 2 HUGE sails during a crosswind!
• I totally need to improve my core strength to ride aero efficiently.

Lessons learned, I headed out this morning for our second ride with Kate and Alfie (hope I spelled it right). We started around 9:30am, and although I love the fact I can sleep in, the Florida heat became way too intense after a mere 18 miles. I did manage to ride the majority of the time in aero which helped my confidence. Lessons from today's ride:

• Aero bars will shift left and right if not tightened...not a good thing at 19 mph (why am leaning so far left.....ruhroh!)
• Sipping water from front mounted bottle and pedaling and staying upright takes a lot of thought!
• Don't think about steering in aero or you will end up on the ground! 
• Don't concentrate on anything outside of a few feet in front of you for any length of time or you will end up on the ground AGAIN. :)

I think Rue and I found our sweet spot today. There was no stress on the legs and I managed to average 19 mph without a wind/cross wind and 16 mph in the headwinds without effort on my part. Although I didn't try running, my legs felt fresh after both rides. That will be for next week!

Now...onto AUGUSTA!

Rue and I in my Kona Tri kit

Light as a feather!

The Art of ART

As those of you who follow my blog know I am a physician who practices as an academic doctor to leukemia and lymphoma patients. I practice evidence based medicine. So I try not to endorse, prescribe or recommend anything that does not have good, sound evidence backing it up.

I also have many of the prejudices that MDs usually carry around. I try to squash them down and keep an open mind, but this one has always "stuck" in the past: benefits of chiropractic medicine. I am not sure where this deep rooted prejudice started. I was really good friends with a student in chiropractic school when I was in pre-med. We all got along!  However, somewhere along the way this deep rooted feeling that somehow manipulation was not as good as pain killers, muscle relaxants, and good old surgery burrowed through my mind. (How silly it seems now when I see it staring back at me on the screen.) A few experiences with stories from patients who had had bad experiences with chiropractors likely did not add to my trust. In the end, I felt wary and never endorsed this kind of therapy to my patients, friends or family.

Cut to the present, as an endurance athlete I am pushing my already broken body to points I never could reach when I was intact and younger. I see improvements every workout. Every race is an adventure to yet a new personal best. Until wham! I hit the wall at St. Anthony's this year and my body screamed out to rest, to recover, but I did not heed. I pushed again...wanting to go farther, longer, there are bigger races...more to come. The addiction had set hold, I am a triathlete and perhaps sprints are just the gateway drug, but an Olympic under my belt? I was ready for shoot for the stars...a Half Ironman next year!

My body has another thing in mind. Through all of the training, stress at work and home, it has finally demanded its rest. First my right groin, then my right hamstring and glut, now my SI joints; not forgetting my poor battered left knee and ankle who will never be quite 100%. 

After reading an inspiring triathlete's blog about ART (active release technique) for her injured piriformis muscle and speaking first hand to several patients who had undergone this therapy, I began to wonder. Was there hope for my battered legs? Thankfully, under the encouragement of my partner, John,  and TNT coach, Teresa, I took the leap. I made the appointment with Dr. Travis Mohr at the North Tampa Spine and Joint Center (www.northtampachiropractor.com).

They quickly fit me in and my appointment was that very same week. John came with me as my moral support. I stepped into his office in New Tampa and almost bolted several times. I kept thinking, I am going crazy...medical school always taught drugs and rest. Every orthopedic I have gone too has said, "stop running" or wanted to put me on high dose pain medications and muscle relaxers. What could a chiropractor do that traditional medicine could not? No matter the pain, I would have run out of there and back home unless John counseled me to stay.

So, Dr. Mohr calls us back. A quick review of my intake evaluation and he realizes, I am tough nut to crack. My nerves are causing me to babble and my multiple pains are running together. Somehow he makes sense of my injuries. He explains that much of what I am feeling is a result of gait adjustments my body is making to compensate for my bum knee...okay, I know that, starting to feel full of myself again...but he goes on. He begins to talk about how we can develop scar tissue along our muscles and joints from this poor form. How those "adhesions" need to be released in order to let the muscle heal properly along the lines contraction/relaxation. He begins to describe ART and Graston Technique, they do not sound pleasant but I figure, I have endured pain before...it makes sense. He is patient, describes the science behind it, the improvement others have seen. He caters to my racing mind and likely silly questions.

That same day he worked on my troubled right thigh. I walked into his office and out with immediate pain relief. I was even able to run that same evening with about a 40% improvement in my pain. Since then and a terrible encounter with the Dreadmill at LAF where I pushed to hard (I know..AGAIN)... I have had 3 weeks of twice weekly treatments and noticed dramatic improvements. My groin pain is 100% better, my hamstrings are stronger, stretched, and about 90% better. He diagnosed my SI joint inflammation (which I have had on/off for several decades!) and it too is improving (about 40%). He has taught me stretching, strength exercises, and continues to do ART on the troubling areas. 

As I look back on my fears and prejudices, I realize they were just that. Dr. Travis Mohr never uttered those two words to me, "Stop Running". He never questioned my somewhat insane need to push my body past its normal limits. Instead he taught me ways to cushion the blows, to help my body cope with the journey we were going to. I doubt a traditional MD would do that. As an athlete, a patient, and physician, I will carry this lesson with me to my future friends, co-athletes, and patients.

 Keep an open mind, healing comes in many ways!

If You Break Down

There are times in life when you feel as if you have about to hit the wall or reached the end of your rope and you are terrified to fall down into an overwhelming abyss. It is in this those times when others lift you up. Take you, the stubborn, broken mess of you and bring you back to reality. Bring you back to understanding your purpose in this mad world. 

Most of my life I have been told failure is a weakness. Fear and sadness are a sign of frailty. Trying to find humor in it, I always think to myself, "There is no crying in baseball!". Heh. 

So if you have to cry, you do it in hiding. You keep it to yourself. It used to be so easy. There are moments though that the feelings overwhelm you. They brim over the cup that is your soul and you just cannot contain these emotions. It is then that my weakness shows. That you learn just how vulnerable I truly am.

It is then when having someone in your life that stands by your side despite the vulnerability, then shame of breaking down takes you into their arms, their heart and shares your pain.  I always have songs for the soundtrack of my life...well for that special person who is there for me:

If You Break Down
So you've come to a day
where you wish the clocks
went backwards
in the cover of night
you're asking the stars to stay
asking satellites
to stop and help you to remember
how to picture the world
before everything had changed

If you break down
I'm at your shoulder
Take me at my word
You can break down
I will tell you over and over
A reliable sound is coming around
If you break down

If fear comes without invitation
and lays its head
in the green of your tired eyes
if it's paralyzing
I will wake you
We will walk a thousand paces
walk away, walk away
till you are walking on your own

And if you break down
I'm at your shoulder
Take me at my word
You can break down
I will tell you over and over
A reliable sound is coming around
If you break down
A reliable sound,
I'm coming round
If you break down

If you break down,
Look no further
Take me at my word
You can break down
I will tell you over and over
A reliable sound is coming around
A reliable sound is coming around
If you break down

Take my word
I'm coming around 

Lately I have been ever so much more sensitive, rash, and having difficulty keeping my sadness in check. My career is not the easiest emotionally  and now I am battling with my own body. I hope I do not drive those I love away with my insensitivity. 

I thank this person that has my heart, truly my friend. I know deep in me that there will always be that presence at my shoulder and the reliable sound just off in the distance.

I only hope I can be that for him.