Training Widget

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Running releases more than just sweat...

"Every run is a chance to lose all the things you don't want, while gaining all the things you do. With every calorie burned, emotion shed and second shaved, you run faster and as an entirely new you."

This was shamelessly lifted from an Asics advertising campaign, but it called to me, especially in light of recent events.

Recently, I was told that it seems like I am not excited about training any more. It was a hard blow to take. Training, improving my health, my stamina has been a life-changing event. I look forward to every session (yes, even the swims) as a time of reflection, meditation and to release the stressors of the day. Although I love all three sports, running is become the most therapeutic. It is simple to come home, change, don my Garmin and RoadID and out I go. I am fortunate to live alongside a well kept trail that can be run day or night. Usually the only thing you have to worry about is Fred (our local Florida Panther) and Mable (our wild boar mom)...and of course that pesky bee that decided I was a giant yellow and green flower one day.

Perhaps I run because it is something I was told I would never be able to do. Something I am now being told NOT to do by family and friends outside of the running and triathlon world. Yet, I desperately need this. I think of the peace of being outside, the calm state of mind focusing on the rhythm of each step, the stress melting away with every drop of sweat. When work comes to mind, I focus on my patients, knowing that they have suffered much worse pain than anything I am enduring and yet they persevere, they push themselves. So I push on, knowing that each step I take I am making myself better to help them...and striving to push for my race with TNT for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society donations.

Training also gives me time with my training partner and team. I have never met a group of kinder, compassionate and dedicated individuals. I do not have to worry about proving myself to them. There is constant encouragement, guidance, and hands extended to help pick you up when your down (both physically and figuratively). This includes my training partner who without his wisdom, friendship, physical and emotional strength I would still be driving myself to an early death from being overweight and unhealthy.

I love my training. I need my training. It probably keeps me sane with the kind of job I have. A colleague's escape is a yacht named CR, Complete Remission...well this is MY Complete Remission.

But now I am failing at one of the things I love so much. After St. Anthony's Triathlon, I began to having a nagging pain on the inside portion of my right hip. It has waxed and waned, but always worsens with longer distance runs (whether I where brace or not). In the past 2 weeks it has begun to affect my gait while running and in the past week it has begun to cause me to limp continuously. I am trying to be strong and deal with the pain...but I am very concerned. Maybe it is that concern that is being noticed. Maybe it is the constant pain whether in my bum knee or now right hip/groin. I do not know, but I will push through this pain and do what I need to do.

My friends all say rest, but rest means I lose my escape, lose the chance be with people who do not judge me, or look down on me, lose my chance at becoming a better person. I just cannot let that go.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe it is the concern that you wear on your sleeve while training that is being picked up on, but as the person who commented that you seemed to have lost the passion, it was not meant as a slam or to make you feel bad, but rather to point out that you don't seem happy when you are running or training. This is NOT all the time, but this week was bad, starting with post race last Saturday. And it may be a little selfishness on my part because when people are "down" or complaining about pain it puts a damper on my own enthusiasm, and much like you, as you know, this is my escape.

    We tell you not to run, or to back off, not to take this from you, but to ensure that you are healthy enough to keep doing it without going down for a LONG period of time, which would be worse for you mentally and physically. Is it worse to miss a week, or even two now, or to push through an injury (which is different than "pain") and be down for 6 months? At some point you have to deal with the injury, if it is one, or to find out what the pain is caused by and we can find a way to fix it or work around it.

    Plus, you would not lose the team or the support. Even if you had to sit out a training run, or even a race, you'd still be there cheering us on, because that's the type of person you are. The support would still be there.

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